As the days get closer to our due date, I get more and more excited about meeting this little baby girl. It becomes more real, and the fear that it was all a dream is starting to fade.
I pray for our little Peanut every day and I have so many hopes and dreams for her already. Throughout our infertility, I leaned on Hannah from 1 Samuel so much. She was my strength and inspiration. I also prayed like Hannah did throughout our struggles. I prayed for God to give me a baby that I would vow to give back to the Lord. I still want to keep that promise. This baby girl will be ours to look after, encourage, and teach her about God's magnificent grace. However, I want her life and legacy to be to honor God.
I know I will be obsessed with this little miracle, but I know that she is only mine on Earth and she has to live her life for God. I want so many great things for her. I want her to make tons of friends, go off to a great college, have an amazing career, and achieve everything she wants in life. I don't want her to be afraid to try anything or to spread her wings wherever she is called to go.
Honestly, I don't want her to stay in Louisville. There is so much the world has to offer and I want her to really experience it, unlike I was able to do. I so wish now I had lived in NYC after college or lived abroad. I don't expect her to stay close to us because she needs to go where God intends her to go.
I also pray that she meets and marries a man who's as wonderful as her dad, but not until her 30's! Career first, boys can come later!! When I found out we were having a girl, I instantly worried that she would inherit PCOS from me. I pray so hard that she doesn't struggle with infertility or anything health related.
I don't expect her life to be easy and perfect. I want her to have struggles and learn what hard work is all about. I want to give her everything her heart desires, but I know that's not what's best for her. I want her to learn independence and success. I want to teach her that she can do anything as long as she works hard and commits to it, but more than anything that she relies on God for guidance.
There is so much I want for her (including her becoming a big sister some day), that this blog post could go on forever. More than anything, I want her to know that we'll always be proud of her and we'll commit to teaching her all the amazing things her Heavenly Father has already done for her.
In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.”
1 Samuel 1: 10-11
