New Year, New Drugs

Here we go again...back to our fertility specialist yesterday. I almost wanted to hug her because it had been a few months since I've seen her. I know she sees tons of patients all for the same thing, but regardless, she is a big part of our lives right now. She wants to try a different treatment this time. Last time we did the clomid/dexamethasone combination and it thinned my uterus lining too much, so we are trying 4 doses of letrozole daily. It's suppose to work better on the lining and per usual, I'll be wearing an estrogen patch to keep the lining thick.

I know this is a lot of technical talk for some of our readers and it shouldn't mean a lot to you, but I just feel weird right now. I knew how the drug combo of the past worked and I'm just worried that this drug won't work and we'll have to try something else. It seems like all we've been doing is experimenting with drugs and trying new things. I just want some consistency. But I guess we've got to mix things up because nothing has worked so far. Bottom line: I just want to be pregnant. I am willing to do whatever it takes, but it is definitely getting exhausting.

I realize I shouldn't complain. The pills my husband has been taking are extremely dreadful. I hate to even be in the room when he takes them because they smell so bad. I can't imagine what he goes through every morning and night having to down them. I could never doubt his desire for baby or his dedication for our fertility.

When we were at the doctor yesterday, there were several people in the waiting room. There was a couple ladies talking to a very attractive guy that Mike called Armani. From his designer suit and shoes, you could tell the cost of infertility weren't a big deal to him. When his wife comes from the doctor office, he's there to escort her out. We could hear the two ladies talking about him and how nice it was that he brings his wife to the doctor. I was actually shocked that he was in the waiting room. My husband is by my side throughout the entire appointment. He goes back with me to the exam room and then to the doctor's office to discuss our plan. This is a team effort and we're in this together. I don't need a ride to the doctor, I need a partner that wants this as much as I do. And I definitely have that.

I understand that work and other obligations may prevent husbands to make all the appointments and I'm by no means knocking that. However, if a husband is going to be there at the office, go back with your wife and be there with her. There has only been one appointment that Mike couldn't make with me. He was busy at work and it was in the middle of the day. I told him not to worry about it because I had to be there awhile. I had to go to the lab and get blood work done and then visit with the doctor. It was totally fine and I know I could do some of the visits on my own, but it's so wonderful to have a husband so dedicated to being there with me. There are times that the appointments don't go well and I walk out super bummed. If I didn't have Mike there, I'm sure I'd be a sobbing mess.

I hope I never take him for granted. I thank God for him every day. It's a new year and although I feel a little anxious, I'm trying my best to remain hopeful for new beginnings. Next week will mark 3 years since our official first date. My life quickly changed after January 10, 2010 and it's been an amazing journey. I know God has big plans for our future and I can't wait to see what they are...