Where to go from here?

Hello, friends. Sorry we've been a little MIA on blogging. I know a lot of you have asked me about what's going on and how the sixth IUI turned out. Well, no big surprise to us, it failed. There are no words to discribe our devastation. Not that we had tons of hope that it would work, but we knew that we didn't want to do another IUI again. Although the procedure, drugs, and doctor visits have been time consuming and expensive, it was always an easy decision on how to move forward. Now that's not the case.

It's been two weeks since we got the negative test and we still haven't come to a firm decision on our next plan of attack. We are debating between IVF and adoption. And when we come to a decision, we have to figure out timing.

If we do IVF, it's about a 2-month process that we both have to be completely committed to. There are lots of do's and don'ts, doctor visits, injections, days of bed rest, and prayers. If we decide to stop any fertility treatment, then we need to get started asap on adoption. We had an IVF meeting with our doctor a couple months ago. She partners with a Lexington doctor, who has the highest success rate for IVF around in my age group, which is 42%. When looking at all the numbers, we were excited that he had the highest percentage, but then again 42% isn't that encouraging. I want more of a guarantee. I need a higher statistic to give me hope that it would work.

Honestly, the hope of having a biological child is diminishing tremendously. I'm pretty sure that having a biological baby is stronger for me than Mike. Every time I look at him, I think of how adorable his baby pictures are and how much I want a little one just like him. I want the experience of being pregnant too. I know that with having PCOS, my ability to lose baby weight will be extremely difficult, but I don't care. I can buy bigger clothes, but it's not as easy to grow a baby in my uterus.

Before the pregnancy test, I was pretty sure I wanted to do IVF if it was negative. But after we got that negative, I spent the next couple days thinking I was over trying and maybe adoptiong a baby in need of parents was the way to go. But then I started thinking of this picture...

 

and I'm not sure if I'm ready to throw in the towel on a biological baby just yet. Plus I was quite a cute baby too, I have to admit.

Adoption could likely be something we have to do down the road, either for baby #1 or baby #2, but I just don't know yet.

We each made a pros and cons list for IVF and adoption thinking that would give us the answer, but it hasn't yet. So we're taking a much needed vacation. We both stay so busy and rarely get 2 nights in a row where we're together, so now we'll have over a week together. I'm hopeful that God will speak to our hearts on what we need to do.

We'll share details throughout our trip on social media, and our blog when we get back. Hopefully we can share where our infertility journey is taking us next.....