Making Grandparents

This is one post I've wanted to write, but have been dreading doing. One big reason that I want a baby so badly and quickly is so that I can make my dad a grandfather. Even as I type this I am holding back the tears that I know will come streaming down my face soon. I love my dad soooo much and I cherish every moment I have with him. Since he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease 8 years ago, it has been a huge life changer. First, my love for my parents has grown so much. I would do anything for them and every moment I spend with them seems so much more special to me. I've learned to not take them for granted. Secondly, my responsibilities have really increased. My mom relies on me for making the big decisions and if there are any struggles or problems, then I will be the one to take care of it. My mom still does so much and I rely on her for so much as well, but I know she needs a support system and dealing with this is way too much for one person to bear. And the third reason is that I feel like it has speed up my life. It has made me grow up quicker. All of a sudden I felt like I needed to be on the quick path to start a family. I wanted to get married and have kids just to make my dad a grandfather and allow my kids to see what an amazing and loving person he is.

I know that was not what he asked or expected of me, but I wanted that so badly. It caused me to stay in bad relationships because I didn't want to start over and find another guy or it caused me to scare guys away because I was in such a rush. When I finally relaxed and realized that my dad would just want me to be happy, I left my future in God's hands. And in 2010, He put the amazing Mike Idle in my life. God really answered my prayers above and beyond what I could have imagined. Even though my dad can't exactly express it, I know he loves and adores Mike. If I show up for a visit alone, my dad will stand by the door waiting for Mike. He got so excited when Mike would take him for rides in his corvette before we had to sell it.

My mom worried that Alzheimer's would scare a guy away from marrying me, but we had no idea what a great husband God had in store for me. He is wonderful with my dad and has done way more than what's expected of most sons-in-law. You have no idea what that means to me and one of the best things he does is hold me when I'm bawling at how this disease is changing our lives.

So as we continue on this fertility struggle, many times I want to give up and just have a big pity party, but I just think about how awesome it will be to see my baby in my dad's arms. He loves little ones and I just hope he understand that it's his grandchild. I also want to give my mom a grandchild to give her something happy to focus on besides the every day tradegy that she deals with. If we have a girl, we plan to give her his mom's name. He was such a momma's boy and he was crushed when she was taken away by Pancreatic Cancer before he met my mom. I wish I could have known her as a grandmother and I can't wait to met her in Heaven some day.

Also, I want to mention Mike's parents too. They are wonderful grandparents to our nephews and I want them to have that relationship with our kids too. They have been a great emotional support to us through our infertility and I don't know what we would do without them. His dad gave a powerful sermon on Mother's Day that I will never forget. He made me feel for the first time that this day could be about me too...(not just women with working uteruses).

We will continue to pray and work at having a baby. That is all I can do at making my dad a grandfather. For the past several years, I have become involved with the Alzheimer's Association. I want to do something about this disease and it's really the only way I could find. Here is a picture of my dad when he first saw me all ready for my wedding day.

I really appreciate all the prayers we're getting at becoming parents someday, but we would also like prayers for the future grandparents.



If anyone would like to make a donation to stopping this terrible disease, here is a link to my page:
http://act.alz.org/site/TR?px=6271123&pg=personal&fr_id=1718&et=bnYNOI-mTIejbjjJ2bThRw&s_tafId=11143