Rough Week

Last week was extremely rough for us, but we made it through it and are happy with our new home. We closed on a house on Monday and straight from the closing, we started working. Cleaning, painting, repairing, Home Depot runs, more painting, packing, moving, and now unpacking. Our wallets are empty and our bodies are exhausted. However, we love our new house and are excited for great experiences in making it our home.

We haven't posted in awhile on our infertility and that has been a big toll on us. I think we're just discouraged and haven't felt like sharing. Even with all the house stuff, we can't forget about our desire for a baby. As previously posted, I was on some hard core drugs to get me to ovulate. Well, it worked fantastically. We got 3 big follicles, so we were finally ready to do IUI (intrauterine insemination)! We've been working on this since April and it was finally going to happen! We were a bit caught of guard on how quickly I ovulated, so we had to go into the doctor at 6:45 one morning (with Mike's fresh contribution in a sterile cup). We went out to breakfast while the doctor cleaned and prepared the good sperm and then went back for the procedure. We were in and out in less than 30 minutes. It was a bit painful for me, but by the afternoon, I felt fine. I was mainly excited to be off the bad drugs!

So then the big wait began. We should know in about 10-14 days if it was successful. We waited until the 13th day to test. For the past year, I hate doing those and seeing "not pregnant". I feel like the stupid thing is mocking me. Well, it mocked me again and the next morning my period began. We were both devastated. We now have to start making payments on a procedure that didn't work. It really stinks and I hate this!! We're both really struggling to understand what all this means. And also we have to decide what we do next. I dread doing the drugs again and I dread the bill that comes and I dread the disappointment! This was the 12th attempt we've had at getting pregnant and each cycle ends in sadness.

We do know that we're very fortunate. We now have a great house and it will be a perfect home to raise a family. We really got to see how loved we are by some amazing people. It's never fun to help someone paint or move in 90 degree heat or come pick us up after we get locked out or do home repairs or help us unpack. But we had some great people there for us. My parents spent a few days in town helping and our church friends were there for us. After we got all moved in and there were boxes and sweaty people everywhere, we had greasy pizza and hung out. The Old Veronica would have kicked them out after about 30 minutes and started insanely unpacking everything, but I was mentally and physically exhausted and I just loved having our friends around. Everyone was laughing and having a great time. I took a moment just to look around and cherish that time. It made me realize why we wanted a house...to entertain and have friends over. I can't wait to start cooking in my new kitchen and hosting fun parties.

I hope God hears our prayers and continues to bless us. We pray that we will some day get to fill that empty room down the hall...

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. - Hebrews 11:1