Life is funny right now with how we operate. Everything is in two week intrevals, instead of waiting for weekends, holidays, and vacations to show up on our calendar; we are waiting for positive LH kits, doctor appointments, and that time of the month to not show up.
The other day we learned of a couple we are friends with that just found out were pregnant. We talked about how it is easy to get jealous or mad when that happens. It seems like it is happening to everyone we know, and I think it is only natural to get a little frustrated with the thought of "why can't that be us?" We've found it better to think about how exciting it will be when we get to tell all of our friends the news, and how great it will be having so many other friends and family members with young kids around.
In the meantime we will keep going in two week intrevals, where we wait and then go onto the next step. I pray every night that soon enough we will wait two weeks and find that the next step is not necessary because we are pregnant. I cannot describe the excitement I feel when I think about that day. Going into this, I was perfectly fine with going ahead and trying to conceive or waiting, it didn't matter; but now that we are all in on it, I am so ready for it to happen.
When Veronica starts taking those preganancy tests, the prayers get pretty intense. One positive coming from this is I have never prayed longer, harder, and more often to my God than I have over the past several months.
Some prayers are filled with questions: what is the reason for all of this? Is it to improve my prayer life? I feel like that has gotten better but maybe it's just not good enough. Is God trying to tell us to enjoy being a couple first? Or is this God at all? Maybe some people just have bad luck with fertility and there is no rhyme or reason for it, it just happens.
Like we've said before, we choose to believe that God has a plan. We are simply trying to follow His direction. Each step of the way I pray that God comforts us and leads us to the next step. He has never failed us and never will. It's easy for us to get annoyed or upset at things like bad news from doctors, but through it all I am thankful that God has kept us encouraged and reminded us of His big picture. I hope He understands our brief moments of frustration. I am thankful that we have such a strong faith to rely on. I couldn't imagine where we would be right now without God.
So we'll keep living life 2 weeks at a time, hoping the monotony of the 2 week intrevals is soon broken. Until then, we'll keep doing what we've done all along. There may be some bad days but we'll just look forward to the good days.
Job 8: 5-6 "But if you pray to God and seek the favor of the Almighty, and if you are pure and live with intergrity, he will surely rise up and restore your happy home."
UPDATE: I started this blog last week, since then we published a couple others. Last week was not a great week for us with the car repair, bad appointment, etc. Luckily this week is off to a better start. Nissan is going to cover our new transmission and we have decided that we are not missing our NYC trip. We are hopeful this new drug will work, luckily is has not negatively impacted Veronica yet.
No comments:
Post a Comment