Fertility World

Not much is going on in fertility world right now, we are just taking our meds and doing our best to get our bodies right. The baseball playoffs are keeping me from being overly active and encouraging me to eat pizza.

Apparently there is a male form of Clomid as well and of course, I need it. So now I get to wake up at 3am for no reason like Veronica did a few months back. At least Home Improvement comes on TV Land around that time. I also managed to pass out on the front porch while doing yard work, which terrified Veronica and probably thoroughly impressed our new neighbors.

Fertility world can be a consuming place. It tends to occupy our marriage and I am sure we aren’t the only ones it has done that to. We have talked about how we just need a night or a weekend away from infertility or Alzheimer’s, a night away from any type of stress where we can just go on a date. Pretend like it is two years ago, but that seems impossible. I can’t even go to bed without thinking about fertility world because I have to take my pills. I just got a new order of pills and they taste like death. I take them at night and still have a bad taste in my mouth when I wake up in the morning. This, of course, is when I have to take them again. This makes me think that maybe the last order of pills were bad because they didn’t have the bad taste. If the drugs work I am totally cool dealing with the bad taste, it’s no different than when Veronica makes vegetables with dinner.

It’s amazing to me how much this can consume your life. Having kids was always an afterthought before, we just knew it would happen. Now there are no guarantees, we don’t know what is happening. The word adoption is being spoken a lot more frequently right now. We try to distract ourselves with other things but the topic always comes back to fertility. I sense we are ready for some finality to this issue. I don’t know if that is us trying to rush God’s timing or God trying to tell us to take a different route. We are praying for clarity and direction on that issue. That’s all we are doing right now is praying and hoping things get better. I get to be the best man in my brother’s wedding next weekend. I am really looking forward to that. We get to go see Veronica’s parents this weekend and I know she is looking forward to that.

Please pray for God to give us some clarity and hopefully some answers. After over a year of this, we are ready for another answer besides no.

1 Corinthians 13:12: "Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely."