One Thing Remains

Lately I have been trying to focus more on the things that God has blessed us with. As I have said in the past, we were starting to let infertility control our lives. All we would be doing is fighting or crying. I think that is Satan trying to do that, making us forget about all the blessings and narrowing our focus on a negative until we blame God. He wants us to think that God doesn’t care about us, that he has forgotten about us. We have tried to focus on the things God has blessed us with because of his love that bring joy to our lives: family, friends, our small group, our church, our house just to name a few. And I have found myself being more and more satisfied with the knowledge that God is still here and still has a plan. It has helped our relationship with God and helped our marriage.

I meant to write this a few weeks back but kind of put it off because it is kind of embarrassing. A few weeks ago at church we sang a song that is quickly becoming one of my favorites, it is called One Thing Remains. I wanted to write the song out (just, for your own good, don’t try to imagine my voice singing it)

Higher than the mountains that I face
Stronger than the power of the grave
Constant through the trial and the change

One thing remains
One thing remains

Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me

On and on and on it goes
It overwhelms and satisfies my soul
And I never ever have to be afraid

One thing remains

Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me

In death and in life I’m confident and covered
by the power of your great love
My debt is paid there’s nothing that can separate my heart from your great love

Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me

When we sang this song I was in one of my funks. We hadn’t gotten any good news in a while and we were just throwing ourselves a pity party. When I heard this song it was almost like I had some sort of stark realization of how fortunate we still are. Sometimes it is easy to feel empty from infertility like when you get nothing but bad news, everyone you know is getting pregnant, you hear how expensive procedures are, you hear how expensive and risky adoption is. The future can look bleak and it can be easy to blur everything else out and focus on what has taken over your life.

In that moment we are supposed to focus on God’s love and how amazing it is. I’m embarrassed because this song brought me to tears just hearing the words because some of them hit home. This infertility battle feels like a tall mountain, and it feels like a powerful force. But His love is taller and stronger. Sometimes I feel like God isn’t there and it makes me feel empty, but His love goes on and on. And if you allow it to, it will overwhelm and satisfy your soul. I get afraid a lot, afraid of what the future holds for us, but with God’s love I don’t have to. I can be confident in the future and have no worry and no fear. Because when there is nothing else I know that one thing remains, and it is His unfailing, unending love. I know God’s love has always been there, I just have let Satan distract me from it. I feel guilty for the times I have questioned God, gotten angry at him, or doubted him.

The last few weeks have been really annoying on Facebook mostly because of the political posts but also because everyone does their thankful posts every day. I’m not judging anyone for doing them, but when everyone does them it clogs my timeline up. Plus after the first few days when everyone says family, friends, pets, etc they run out of creative ideas and end up being thankful for peanut butter or something like that. However, in the spirit of being thankful; I am thankful that when we are down, sad, and feeling empty we have support to fall back on. We have our family and friends, our church and small group. We have those of you who read this blog and leave us notes of support. But most importantly we have the amazing, unfailing, never ending love of an awesome and amazing God, Savior, and Creator.