Another Season

Last week I went to my first Resolve Support Group meeting. There is a relatively new chapter started in Louisville for women facing infertility. I met 5 amazing women also fighting this battle. For the first time in a long time, I felt comfortable sharing in a group and I could use slang medical terms and they would know what I was talking about.

I often feel like the freak in the group of any of my friends. I'm the elephant in the room when people are talking about kids and babies and I'm the one with the disability. These ladies made me feel normal for once in a long time. I didn't have the saddest story of the group. I was amazed by what the other ladies have been through. I love that even after our first meeting we were sharing so much and we were all pulling for each other. I look forward to the next time with these ladies and I hope to see a happy ending for all of them soon.

As much as I am excited to find this group, I wish it didn't exist. I wish there wasn't a need for a support group for women struggling with something that comes so easy to others.

There are so many half thoughts coming in my head right now to write about, but I'm just in a really weird place. I feel bitter and just numb. I can also tell my husband isn't 100%. He's been wanting a puppy and he's been researching constantly. As much as I resist because of the extra cost that we don't need, I do think he deserves one and it's what our family needs. I think it's a way to fill the void and a way to share all the love he has.

I'm hoping that getting some warm weather soon will help both of us. I need a change and a new beginning. But it also reminds me that another season has gone by and more time has passed and our dreams are left unfulfilled.

We'll continue to pray and put our trust in God's plan...