Our Ministry

Often times we include a verse that goes along with what we are talking about. I want to do a post differently today. I want to lead with a verse. 2 Timothy 4:5 really stuck out to me. Here it is:

But you should keep a clear mind in every situation. Don't be afraid of suffering for the Lord. Work at telling others the Good News, and fully carry out the ministry God has given you.

No doubt God is telling us a lot in this verse. For us, I think He's telling us that we shouldn't be afraid of the struggles with infertility we are facing. This is the ministry that God has given us and we need to use our suffering to share Him with others. I do feel like my faith has really grown throughout all of this. There is no way to really explain why this is happening to us unless God wants us to use it to do something good. Maybe it means we use this blog to minister to others with infertility or any other struggle. Or maybe it means it's for us to adopt a child that needs a home. We have to continue to pray and ask Him for guidance and understanding.

Often my prayers include asking Him to make me pregnant. As I lay with my hips propped up at the doctors office, I am pleading for God to make me pregnant at that moment. We all know God has big plans for all of us and sometimes it isn't what we think we want. I do think I want to be pregnant and carry our own child, but maybe God has something bigger and greater in mind. We don't know yet. I know patience is something I don't have a lot of, but I know God has great things for me. I just need to rely on Him and His timing. He definitely knows better than I do.

As I write this, my heart does still struggle to accept all of this. I know it's wrong for me to have the doubts in my head. But I'm working on it. My talks lately have changed from begging to be pregnant to thanking Him for everything great He's already given me and asking him to reveal His plan to me. It doesn't make me any less sad, but it really helps to know I have the big guy to talk to and help me through this. I can't imagine dealing with this without Him.